Jamie's Rants And Things

This was not written by me:

* CAT BURGLAR

- “A police friend of my Dad's is
sent out to investigate some suspicious
activity in the Oxford area where he finds a
house with a ladder against it, leading to an
ajar bedroom window. Clearly a bit suspicious,
so he climbs the old and rickety ladder to
investigate. As he reaches the top he briefly
glimpses a cat sitting on the bed giving him a
quizzical look. I say 'briefly' because a
second later there is a loud 'CRACK' and the
rung snaps cleanly through the middle. He
plummets rapidly, each rung snapping cleanly as
he hits them, like a Looney Tunes cartoon. He
hits the floor and rolls away groaning, his
hands now 20% splinters. A car pulls up and the
driver runs over. “What are you doing in my
garden?” “Checking your house. There was a
ladder going up to a window and someone
reported it as suspicious!” “Oh no mate, that's
just so my cat can get in” “Aren't you worried
about getting burgled?” “Nah,” says the guy.
“I've sawed half-way through each rung”
(stubbledchin)

This was not written by me:

* CAT BURGLAR

- “A police friend of my Dad's is
sent out to investigate some suspicious
activity in the Oxford area where he finds a
house with a ladder against it, leading to an
ajar bedroom window. Clearly a bit suspicious,
so he climbs the old and rickety ladder to
investigate. As he reaches the top he briefly
glimpses a cat sitting on the bed giving him a
quizzical look. I say 'briefly' because a
second later there is a loud 'CRACK' and the
rung snaps cleanly through the middle. He
plummets rapidly, each rung snapping cleanly as
he hits them, like a Looney Tunes cartoon. He
hits the floor and rolls away groaning, his
hands now 20% splinters. A car pulls up and the
driver runs over. “What are you doing in my
garden?” “Checking your house. There was a
ladder going up to a window and someone
reported it as suspicious!” “Oh no mate, that's
just so my cat can get in” “Aren't you worried
about getting burgled?” “Nah,” says the guy.
“I've sawed half-way through each rung”
(stubbledchin)